I don't need you right now, Savage Garden

I feel terrible. All these horrible feelings mushrooming after moments days weeks months countless of slaps and inattention. I haven't felt this way for a long time, seriously denting all hope for something resembling near future. For once I thought this was a play, and entertained it was a play for both our sides, but then. But then I thought, I thought maybe there was some thrill in being. Cast away all evil intention. And let such lead me to red end like a guiding light. No more. Not anymore. I do not know.

I feel fat.